The future: I will improve review job offers as they are submitted. If your offer does not receive a response within a day or two, it is probably because i was not impressed with your terms, job description, or writing style. Feel free to resubmit your offer, but please bear in mind that first impressions are important, and subsequent offers are more likely to be outright ignored. In the event that your offer does strike my fancy, i will contact you to discuss the details of the job and schedule an interview to ensure that your company meets my standards for employment. Should the interview process go well, i will be available for work almost immediately (I may require one to two weeks for relocation, depending on the distance and terms of the job). We will live happily ever after, or something to that extent. About me i am: Creative. If you want things done the way they always have been, we probably aren't going to get along. If, on the other hand, you're always looking for new solutions to old problems, i'd like to hear from you.
You are right to be curious, so i have taken the liberty of sketching up some diagrams to illustrate exactly what it is that I bring to the table as a potential employee. I'm sure you are already racking your brain trying to think up a job position to offer me that will pique my interest, but in the unlikely case that you are not, i am confident that a quick review of my credentials in this essay format. Once you've made up your mind about how much you want me to work with your company (before you ask, yes, "infinitely much" is indeed an acceptable answer here please review my listed qualifications and criteria for prospective employers. If you do not currently meet any of these, i encourage you to liberally institute company-wide changes until you. Obviously, i will favor those job offers which fulfill my listed preferences, but you shouldn't worry too much if you don't meet all of them; just be sure to let me know exactly what it is that you feel your company has to offer. Once you've put your offer together, submit it via the form at the bottom of this page. Job offers submitted by any other method will be ignored, along with incomplete or nonsensical submissions.
I am done asking people to hire me, for several reasons. First and foremost, it clearly doesn't work. Second, it closes me off to a lot of potentially amazing opportunities; I can only find and apply to so many jobs, and there are doubtlessly hundreds of thousands out there that I would be a great fit for. Third and finally, the application process undermines my value as a worker. I have gone my entire life consistently producing excellent results at every task i set my mind to, and quite frankly, employers should be coming to me, not the other way around. These points in mind, i have decided to invert the job application process. You are reading this now, no doubt because you are curious what sort of character honestly believes that he is entitled to have companies send him job offers despite a complete lack of professional work experience or any demonstrations of his purported talents.
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I'd sent out volleys of writing applications to a slew of companies, all of which I was your qualified to work for, none of which ever responded. My insistence on writing individual cover letters, tailored to the recipients of every individual application, seemed more and more foolish the longer I dwelled. I knew my talents would be an excellent addition to virtually any business, but the entire job-seeking process had eaten away at every shred of self-confidence i once possessed, leaving me an empty husk of a man. As i attempted to relay my order to the hostile, incoherent voice squawking out from the drive-through menu speakers, i could feel bitterness forcing its snaky tendrils into the folds of my mind. It was in this moment of bleak desperation that I rediscovered myself—in a burst of insight, i realized that for these past two long, painful years I had been content to lie to myself, to tell myself that it was okay to grovel. I had been pretending that it was acceptable for me to humbly ask somebody to do me the favor of hiring me, then to silently move on after the inevitable rejection.
It was time for me to be honest with myself. I drove home in a euphoric daze, my drive-through order secure inside a grease-drenched paper bag in the seat next. As the shock from my epiphany faded away, i realized that I now knew exactly what needed to be done. I pulled into my neighborhood, parked on the curb, flung open the front door, dove for my laptop, and began composing my reverse job application. The present: This is a reverse job application.
Cct paratransit: Service will operate, with delays likely due to road conditions., send a news Tip to Action News. Learn More About 6abc Apps, report a typo (Copyright 2018 wpvi-tv. About This update: This reverse job application has a happy ending! Click here to read more about. Though I'm no longer actively looking for a job, i plan to leave the site up for posterity's sake.
The past: Two years out of college and still jobless, i was on the verge of having my dreams crushed forever—thus bypassing the decades of thankless paper-pushing that typically lead to this result. No employer would give my résumé a second glance, no human Resources manager would line up an interview for me; even the recruiters were slow to return my calls. My dreams of being hired fresh out of college began to appear little more than feverish nonsense, the flickering flame of a candle in a tempest of uncaring and unforgiving societal expectations. The time spent earning my bachelor's Degree seemed a sorry waste; twinges of regret laced my every memory of the past sixteen years. My world was a dark place. I headed for the drive-through at McDonald's, eager to take the first few steps toward the early onset heart failure which would make the remainder of my pathetic existence more bearable (if only due to its brevity thoughts swimming through my head. Also, i just really wanted some Chicken McNuggets. I couldn't figure out why nobody was interested in hiring. I was young and inexperienced, but surely that's what entry-level jobs were for?
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City Trolleys: Operating on regular weekday schedules. Delays are likely to continue through the morning commute. Media/Sharon Hill Lines (Routes 101/102 Operating on regular weekday schedules with delays. Crews will continue to be ready to respond to possible downed trees in overhead wires or tracks. Expect some delays Thursday morning. Norristown High Speed Line: Operations continue with delays. Concerns include snow covering the electrified third-rail, paper and high accumulations could force a service suspension.
For details on changes to review individual bus routes, please check the system Status section of septa's website at tml. Broad Street and Market-Frankford Lines: Trains have been running on weekday schedules throughout the day, and train service will continue overnight Wednesday into Thursday morning, in place of Nite Owl Bus service. The Broad Street and Market-Frankford Lines provide the best service options during extreme winter weather. Regional rail: septa plans to resume regular weekday schedules on all Regional rail lines on Thursday, after operating a reduced severe Storm Schedule today. The lower-than-normal travel volume has allowed septa to make progress clearing parking lots and station areas, and these efforts will continue overnight. Customers should plan for delays, and possible trip cancellations, during the Thursday morning commute. Please continue to check for updates.
further details. The briefing will be held in the media room on the mezzanine level of septa headquarters, 1234 Market Street. The press conference will also be live-streamed via the septa media relations Twitter account, @septanews. Below are some details and travel tips for each of septa's modes of travel: Bus: A number of routes are currently suspended or detoured. Conditions will likely remain fluid through the morning rush, and service impacts could differ by route.
That's the lowest of four emergency classification levels used by the nuclear Regulatory commission. Although water levels later returned to normal, plant officials left the declaration in place until operators could confirm the environmental anomaly wouldn't recur with the next tidal change. The unusual event was ended shortly after. A plant spokeswoman says minimum water levels were established "as one of many conservative measures" to ensure that operators had access to multiple and redundant sources of cooling water. Oyster Creek is located in Lacey township, about 60 miles (96 km) east of Philadelphia., send a dissertation breaking news alert. Report a correction or typo, learn more about the 6abc apps (Copyright 2018 wpvi-tv. Philadelphia (wpvi), septa officials said they were preparing to resume normal service on Thursday following the nor'easter. The following information was released late wednesday afternoon: Some delays, bus route detours and suspensions, rail trip cancellations and other disruptions are possible throughout the system, so customers are urged to check for updates before they start their commutes.
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Chicago (WLS), cTA "L" train service resumed normal operations in the loop Monday afternoon after signal problems earlier in the day, authorities said. Morning signal problems caused Brown, Green, Orange, pink lines and the purple line Express trains to be halted at Clark and lake. At noon, pink line service was restored, but Orange line passengers were still required to board on the Brown Line tracks as Orange line signals were still having problems. Cta blue and Red shakespeare line service was unaffected. Normal service in the loop resumed on all lines ahead of the afternoon rush. It was unclear what caused the problem. Report a typo (Copyright 2018 wls-tv. (wpvi), the nation's oldest operating nuclear plant has resumed normal operations after unusually low tides and high winds impacted the water levels in its intake canal. Oyster Creek reduced its power and declared an unusual event around 5:25.